we don't belong to ships, we make our own
by directionis
Summary: Regina Mills and Emma Swan are classmates (who never knew the existence of the other) in their debating class until they are given an assignment which puts them on different 'ships' (as their lecturer calls it): Regina to "Outlaw Queen" and Emma to "Captain Swan". Which ship will prevail, or will they sail their own route?
1. Chapter 1

_**CHAPTER 1 – SHIP WARS ARE JUST NO GOOD, SIR**_

 _A/N: First off, this fic is_ _ **not** meant to start ship wars._ _It was a fun little idea that popped into my head and I decided to entertain it. Lots of humour and fourth walls shattered, this is a sort of crack fic I guess? Just in case you don't already know (spoiler alert!), this is a SWAN QUEEN story._

 _Also, please forgive me for any mistakes. They're all mine._

 _Thanks for reading and I hope you'll enjoy!_

* * *

The lecture theatre was buzzing with the usual cacophony of inane conversation and Regina Mills sat perked and alert, waiting impatiently for the lecturer to step in. It was her second year in college majoring in creative writing and this first semester's classes were quite… unusual, to say the least. Not that she was complaining.

The brunette had been working hard towards her goal ever since she graduated high school, choosing her major and extracurricular activities carefully. She had planned her next steps with precision to ensure that she could secure a place in law school and quite frankly, she had been overjoyed that debating was one of her classes this semester, despite what her peers may think.

Just then, the doors to the lecture theatre swished open and a silent hush fell upon the students as they watched their lecturer – a sturdy young man with dark brown hair and pleasant features – made his way to the front.

"Good morning everyone."

The booming deep voice reverberated around the walls of the theatre and Regina felt adrenaline kicking in. Finally she was able to learn something directly related to being a lawyer, and she was not even in law school yet!

"You can call me Mr. Henry, and please just call me that," the lecturer said, writing his name in big bold letters on the front board.

"Now, can anyone tell me why you _think_ you are taking debating class?"

"Because we're wasting our time?" Someone from the back shouted, causing a few giggles.

Regina scoffed. _Imbeciles._

"Good answer," Mr. Henry smiled and he seemed unfazed. "But that's not exactly why. You see, you as creative writing students may have the same question: why the hell are we taking classes that requires speaking when our pens do the speaking for us?"

Regina heaved an internal sigh and leaned back in her chair. There this lecturer goes, pulling the oldest trick in the book: introductory monologue deemed to be inspirational that may or may not employ the Socratic Method. This was nothing new to her.

Mr. Henry carried on, "In creative writing, you have to think what kind of story you want to tell, the characters you want to show, how their relationships with each other can benefit the storyline. You want to be able let the reader listen and relate to these characters and their dialogues. And what better way to train your thinking but to debate?

"You see, debating is about thinking quick on your feet: the opponent fires something, and you fire something twice as substantial back. It's about knowing your facts and arguing _for_ it."

The students watched as their lecturer turned on the projection screen and some groaned as the assignment criteria flashed on the screen.

"Your first continual assessment will constitute thirty percent of your final grade," Mr. Henry stated. "And it will be due in two weeks' time."

"WHAT?!"

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"But we haven't even learnt _anything_ about debating yet!"

The initial murmur that broke out across the theatre turned into indignant shouts and it took a while before peace was restored.

"I understand where all of you are coming from," Mr. Henry nodded. "But to learn about speaking, you must learn to speak first."

He made his way to his bag and took our some papers. "Don't worry class, I won't be too harsh. And besides, I have edited the assignment to make it more – should I say – relatable to you."

Mr. Henry flashed a paper on the screen and Regina felt herself frowning as she read its content. _What is this?_

"On the screen, you will see several phrases that you won't understand," Mr. Henry smiled and Regina figured he was probably enjoying himself. "These phrases are actually pairings of several fictional characters that you will know from famous fairy tales. Now, the entire class will be divided according to these eight pairings and debate their way to prove why their respective pairing should be the top pairing."

"So basically, it's like a ship war?" A girl piped up.

Mr. Henry looked at her quizzically, "Excuse me?"

"Like fandom ship wars?" The girl continued, "I'm from a fandom and sometimes our pairing that we want so badly to be together is deemed together with someone else and that becomes another fandom. So then a lot of bad tension happens online and my point is, ship wars are just no good sir."

"No of course not," Mr. Henry laughed. "Wars are no good, in general, and I am sure a 'ship war' that you are describing is not beneficial as well. What I'm proposing is just a friendly little contest between these pairings, or 'ships' if you are more familiar with the term. The grounds of comparison are not based on which character is the most popular or whatever, it is how compatible you think they are based on their relationship history. _This_ is where the creative writing part comes in."

Regina watched as Mr. Henry replaced the paper on screen with another one and started reading from it.

" _Red Beauty – Red Riding Hood and Belle_

 _Facts:_

 _Red Riding Hood and Belle started off as friends. They met in a tavern that Red frequents and when Belle was finally free from her confinement in the Beast's castle._

 _They started to confide in each other and realise that they both have similarities. But one thing connects them together: a beast._

 _Red had a terrible secret: she was a werewolf-"_

"Wait a minute, Professor!" A shout came from somewhere in the middle of the lecture theatre and everyone turned to look at the lanky brunette who had chosen to stand with crossed arms. "I don't remember that story happening in _any_ version of Red Riding Hood's fairytale and believe me, I am an avid fan."

Mr. Henry laughs. "Oh of course! I borrowed these characters and rewrote them according to my version. Call it fanfiction if you will, Miss…?"

"Lucas," the brunette replied with a huff and Regina could see red streaks on her hair as she flipped it. "Ruby Lucas. And what sort of fanfiction is this, sir, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Ms. Ruby Lucas," Mr. Henry acknowledged. "Just a little story I write in my free time that I decided to incorporate into your assignment. I thought it could be fun for you creative writing students and how you can relate."

"What's the title of this story you're writing?" Somebody called from the back as Ruby took her seat.

"Once Upon A Time," Mr. Henry smiled mysteriously. "But I digress! Now that you get an idea how it looks like, it's time to split this class. To be honest, it's quite a small class for such a big lecture theatre… Anyway, how about a numbering sequence?"

[-]

Regina groaned internally as she made her way to all the assigned '3's and watched as the groups around her started to form. There were approximately forty-eight students in this class and she scanned the other five students she was going to spend time with for this assignment.

Clearly she was going to be the leader.

"Hi," the blonde girl sitting beside her gave a small smile. "My name is Kathryn Nolan."

"Regina Mills," she answered, giving a clipped reply.

"You're from the other class right?"

"Yes."

"Nice to meet you!"

Regina turned to look back at Kathryn and despite noticing the sincerity, she gave nothing but a noncommittal hum.

From the front, Mr. Henry waved the papers. "Alright! Now that you have formed your groups, can one representative from each group come down and get your pairing? This person will also be the leader of the group."

Without prompt, Regina stood up and watching as none of her other group members seemed to have any objection, she made her way down to the front.

"What number is your group, miss?" Mr. Henry asked when Regina approached him.

"Three."

"Alright, here you go. Best of luck!"

Receiving the paper and making her way back to her seat, a commotion came up with someone yelling, "Mr. Henry! Are all these pairings romantic?"

"Not all," he replied. "Some may be platonic as well. It depends on how you perceive it. You can argue for it to be platonic, romantic, etc. as long as you have strong evidence to back your argument."

"But sir," the same voice cried with frustration. "It says right here in the facts that Mulan developed feelings for Princess Aurora! How is that even possible? They're both women!"

The entire lecture theatre immediately quieted as they waited for the reply of their professor, who only stood in front looking amused.

"So?"

The girl who had spoken looked taken aback with the simple question before she became flustered. "I do not side with the idea of homosexuality."

"Well, Miss…?"

"Ghorm."

"Ms. Ghorm, if you really do feel uncomfortable with that, you can tell me your full name and I can give you a zero for this assignment," Mr. Henry shrugged casually. "I'm pretty open-minded. I wouldn't want you to overstep your boundaries and embrace change now, would I?"

Regina smirked as she watched her classmate turn red faced. The brunette had never liked Blue – the name she was better known as – and it was plain silly to cause a huge fuss over such a small incident.

As the class around her started to regain its hype, she looked down at the pairing she got and mentally prepared herself for _Outlaw Queen._


	2. Chapter 2

_**CHAPTER 2 - IT'S JUST A STUPID DEBATE ANYWAY**_

 _A/N: Thank you for the reviews and follows! Sorry for the late delays, I have been caught up with work recently. Nevertheless, I'll try and upload the future ones with prompt._

 _And so the crack continues..._

* * *

"Rumbelle – Neal Cassidy

Red Beauty – Graham Humbert

Snowing – Cora Hart

Sleeping Warrior – Reul Ghorm aka Blue

SwanFire – August Booth

Captain Swan – Emma Swan

Dragon Queen – Victor Whale

Outlaw Queen – Regina Mills."

Mr. Henry looked up from his paper. "In two weeks, you will have your first round. That is, Rumbelle vs. Red Beauty, Snowing vs. Sleeping Warrior, SwanFire vs. Captain Swan, and Dragon Queen vs. Outlaw Queen. The four teams who wins will enter the second round following that week, and the two teams who win will rise to the finals _two_ weeks following that. Everyone following?"

No one responded.

"Great!" Mr. Henry clapped enthusiastically. "Now I recall someone asking about actually learning something from this class. The answer is: of course! For the first and second rounds, it will be sort of a 'tutorial' style. That is, at the end of each pair of ships, I will be giving tips on what to be improved on and how. Of course in the week before the first round, we will have lessons on the basics of debating. How does that sound?"

Some bothered to nod this time.

"That's all then. Before I leave, any final questions?"

"I have one!"

Regina turned to the group on her left and observed the girl with blonde curls as she spoke.

"Shoot."

"My pairing is Captain Swan and I don't get it. How would a pirate and a princess get together?"

"Sometimes, love happens Ms. Swan. And I must say, it was quite the coincidence that you had the pairing with your last name."

Emma frowned. "Who is this swan princess anyway?"

"Ah, about that," Mr. Henry just smiled. "It's not that Swan Princess Captain Hook is paired with. It's actually an original character in the novel I'm writing. But as I said, the entire is story is not important. The important facts are already what has been written in your slip of paper given to you."

"Sounds like an interesting story, Mr. Henry," Ruby, who was sitting beside Emma, spoke with cynicism. "When will you publish and let us read it?"

Some students laughed.

Mr. Henry donned a serious face. "Well Ms. Lucas whether you know it or not, some stories have already been completed… in another universe, probably."

There was a moment of silence before Mr. Henry resumed his cheery smile. "Alright then! Class dismissed and I'll see you next week to check on your progress!"

As hustle picked up around her, Regina turned to her group. "Shall we start with the discussion for our pairing?"

"Sure!" Kathryn beamed and Regina was silently thankful for her bubbliness as the other four guys just shrugged.

"Let's head somewhere else," Regina stated and as she led them away, she hoped that her group would not pull her down.

[-]

The library was quieter than usual, judging by how it was only the late morning and they had nothing else after debating class on Wednesdays. They entered one of the private rooms housed in the library meant for discussions and Regina sat at the head.

"Some quick introductions first, shall we? My name is Regina Mills, if you don't already know."

"I'm Kathryn Nolan!" Kathryn, who was seated on Regina's right, beamed to the team.

"Wait a minute," the guy sitting opposite her with a stubble spoke in an accented voice. "Do you happen to be David Nolan's sister? He's just from the other class."

"Oh, David. Well we're not _exactly_ related but we have a very distant relative relationship, but not really blood-related."

"Ah, I see. Guess it's my turn to introduce myself then," the accented guy replied. "My name is Robin Forest and-"

"Hi Rob- oh! We're not doing that?" Kathryn flustered as everyone stared at her, "Okay sorry, continue."

Robin blinked. "So as I was saying if you're wondering about my accent then yes, I'm from England."

Regina rolled her eyes at his haughty tone. _Forest_ huh, she thought. No wonder he wasn't cleanly shaved. Is that evenhis hair colour or is it _dirty_ dirty blond?

The group looked expectantly at the brunet sitting beside Robin who looked too bored to be surrounded by a place filled with books.

"Jefferson." He spoke before concentrating on fiddling with his fingers again.

"What's your last name?" Regina asked.

He gave her a death stare. "I said _Jefferson._ "

She pursed her lips and glared back. No way in hell was she going to stand down from this lunatic with that hat-assed hair.

"Ooooo-kay!" The guy beside Jefferson pushed up his glasses as he spoke, attempting to lift the tension. "My name is Archie Hopper and I'm not supposed to be in this course."

The rest of the group looked at him in confusion.

Archie reddened and little and gave a nervous laugh, "I mean I don't really have a true passion in writing, I'm more of a psychology person. You know the science behind the mind, and I just really hope to do something related to psychology in the future and-"

"Yeah, okay Archie, this is not tell-your-life-story day," Regina cut in. She needed to show this people who is in charge here.

"Next."

The last guy sat nervously beside Kathryn. "I-I'm S-s-ahem. Sidney Glass. I work on the editorial team for the school's newsletter."

"Great, short and sweet," Regina muttered before handing them each a piece of paper. "Here are your copies of the pairing."

"Outlaw Queen?" Robin contemplated. "Sounds neat."

Regina shot him a glare. "Well, if it's so _neat_ then you make sure we make it to the finals, how about that?"

Oblivious to her snarky attitude, Robin winked at her. "No problemo, Regina."

 _It's best if I ignore this hobo,_ Regina thought as she pursed her lips.

Turning to the others she said, "So apparently, Outlaw Queen or maybe OQ for short, is consisted of the pairing Robin Hood and The Evil Queen and they first met in this place called the Enchanted Forest."

"Oh hey! That's my name!" Robin perked up and was promptly ignored by everyone.

Archie cocked his head. "Where is this Enchanted Forest?"

"Some made-up land that Mr. Henry thought of for his story, I presume," Regina answered.

"Why 'outlaw' though?" Kathryn asked.

Sidney glanced at her. "I'm guessing it is because Robin Hood is a thief. It's a play on words."

"And I must add," Robin grinned. "A good thief, at that."

"Nobody cares, Robin," Regina snapped.

Suddenly the doors to the private room flew open and everyone at the table looked up to see, well, some familiar and unfamiliar faces.

Regina stood up to face the intruders. "Excuse me? We were in the middle of a meeting."

"Yup," the blonde, who Regina recognised as Emma Swan in the lecture theatre previously, answered. "My bad, I came to look for Jefferson."

The whole of OQ turned to look at the mysterious brunet who – until then – had not participated in their discussion. Jefferson casually stood up, stretched, before turning to Emma and smiling.

This then elicited an unnecessary gasp from Kathryn – who had been wondering if he could actually smile – which then started the ball rolling in motion.

"Alright that's enough," Regina near shouted, clear enraged. She pointed a finger at Jefferson, "You are not going anywhere, and especially not when we are having a meeting on this assignment."

She turned to Emma. "And you, have _no_ right to barge in here Ms. Swan."

"Oh my," Emma placed a hand over her heart with faux surprise. "My reputation precedes me."

There was a certain amount of nonsense Regina could tolerate in a day, and today had clearly overshot the maximum.

Clenching her fists, Regina gritted, "Get. Out. Of. My-"

"Hey David!"

Robin noticed his friend standing behind Emma and waved enthusiastically, unsurprisingly unmindful of Regina's growing ire.

"GODDAMMIT ROBIN!" Regina screamed and Emma laughed, which was not helpful at all.

"What the hell is going on here?"

The stranger's voice halted everyone's actions as the librarian loomed over them.

"Either all of you get in that room for your discussion, or everyone gets out of the library."

No one spoke.

The librarian crossed her arms. "Well?"

[-]

"How come you guys get to sit by the table but we have to stand?" Ruby complained as all twelve of them squeezed to fit in the relatively small room.

"Because we got here first before you rudely interrupted," Regina shot her a saccharine smile.

"This is just _so_ utterly boring, why are we here in the first place?" The single redhead in the room from the group of circus people Emma brought over complained.

"It ain't my fault, Zelena," Emma shrugged. "Good ol' Jefferson told me there was space for us to join."

At this, Regina glared so ferociously at Jefferson with clenched fists that her fingers threaten to pierce through her own palm.

" _You_ invited them _over,_ claiming we had space, and then proceeded to sit in the corner and not say anything? What the hell is wrong with y-"

"I think all of us should calm down," the pixie-haired brunette placed a gentle hand on Regina, who proceeded to snap her own arm away.

"Who the hell are you?"

The brunette smiled. "Mary Margaret Blanchard."

"What are you, from a superfluity of nuns or something?"

Mary Margaret looked taken aback and the blond guy that Robin had been waving to stepped beside her.

"That's enough, Regina."

"And which _noble_ stranger are you, dear sir, that you may address me so informally by name?" Regina sneered.

"Hey, that's so characteristically The Evil Queen," Archie piped up from the back and Regina willed herself not to throw the nearby vase.

"It says right here that The Evil Queen hated anyone who does not address her by-"

"SHUT UP ARCHIE."

The blond guy in front of her merely laughed. "The name's David Nolan and-"

"He's my best pal!" Robin interrupted, a stupid grin on his face.

Regina closed her eyes, hoping that if she were to close it long enough, maybe all this were a dream and she would not be in an enclosed face with a room full of idiots.

"Alright," a dark haired guy all decked in dark leather from Emma's group of circle people stepped up. "I think it is time for all of us to calm the bloody hell down."

Regina crossed her arms. "I'm not taking orders from someone who wears a goddamned _hook_ bracelet on his hand, and is that _eyeliner_ you're wearing? Jesus Christ."

The leather guy narrowed his eyelinered eyes. "Ain't your business lady. You don't know how many heads this hook has ripped from the bodies of fish."

"Wow," Kathryn stared, astounded with awe. "You're a fisherman? It's so hard to find one nowadays I-"

"NO I AM NOT! Killian Jones here, proud to be at your service for catching rare fishes." The leather guy - who introduced himself as Killian – looked pleased enough at himself for that kind of rag title that Regina almost felt sorry for him.

"You sure you're not killing them?" Regina raised an eyebrow.

"Well of course not, woman. I kill the ones I have caught that are not rare."

"Sounds like a promising career," Regina scoffed before going back to the matter at hand. "Now, one group of us needs to leave because we are discussing the assignment."

"Outlaw Queen, aye?" The redhead, known as Zelena, asked.

Regina almost puked with rage and snatched the papers from her hands. "Which bitch gave you the authority to take papers from an opponent?"

Zelena rolled her eyes. "Please, we are not even on opposite teams. And this whole assignment is stupid. I did not sign up to be a lawyer with debating skills."

"Tell me about it. Writing has nothing to do with psychology," Archie sighed but in a room full of prospective writers (except for one fuming prospective lawyer), he went ignored.

"We could discuss it together."

Everyone turned to look at Jefferson – who incidentally started the whole shebang and then remained silent the entire time – but he just sat unfazed of the different degrees of emotions elicited from the people's faces.

"What? I mean we're both with our groups and we're all in the same room and Zelena has kindly pointed out that we are not on opposite teams."

Emma nodded. "He does have a point."

"Actually, he has three points," Archie pointed out but nobody cared about the psychology student masked as a writer.

"Fine," Regina conceded. "We'll get more chairs and then you guys take half of the table and we get the other half."

"Sure," Emma shrugged. "It's just a stupid debate anyway."

And so it was supposed to be. But will it?


End file.
